Haig,
I've been thinking of you so often! I really hope you are well. I know that you take a while to respond so I thought I'd hit you up through the e-mail. No worries (I actually accidentally typed Norries...which is a much more efficient way of saying no worries and now I have used up even more space in being efficient!) in not responding. I'm just happy we're in touch.
I had a dream a few weeks ago. I was in the grocery store. I was in a huge industrial looking store...more grey and dim that Costco...which is normally brightly lit. I was in the frozen food area that was located in the middle of the store but was more horizontal. Meaning, the frozen items were not in upright refrigerator things like regular stores...you had to look down in these short freezer and reach down to get what you want. The details may be frivilous but I included them nonetheless. Well, I was looking through these huge bins and I look up and I see Alice coming around the corner with her huge cart (indistrial size carts you know). I was so happy to see her...I could really feel it...and I said (with a smile on my face), "Well hello there Miss Chahinian." As I said it, I told myself "This is not real...it's a dream...she's not here any more". It just felt so real to see her. Well, in true Alice fashion, she was preoccupied with how stupid someone was and hugged me while venting...as if we see each other everyday and it wasn't a big deal to meet up at the market. Nothing happened after that. I think we just walked with a carts while she was venting.
I read your mom's letter on the blog and it truly is mind bogging. I can relate as to how she said that she prays for her children's safety evey nite. My mom does the same. It just goes to show that many things are out of our hands and things are plucked away for reasons only God knows...whether we like it or not. I guess it also shows us that it doesn't matter what we want, we just have to learn what we can out of situations dealt to us...no matter how painful.
I continue to miss her so much. In July is our annual beach party and as I was getting my evite together, her e-mail address popped up as being part of the guest list. I thought back to that day last year and she was on her way but something happened with her radiator on the 405 fwy and she had to take her (damn) Jeep into the shop. She was trying to still make the party but I told her not to worry about it. I told her she should take it in before something bad happens to her on the road...she wanted to chance it by driving down. She decided to take it in and called a few times while she was waiting to get it towed. We had a lot of laughs while being on the phone and I appreciated her dedication. But no matter what I would say or what your mom prayed or what we all would wish...just 4 months later, the Jeep and the road took her from us. Our choices are so important in our lives...more than what we take for granted. It is above all divine intervention that can take us only so far. It's so sad...I hate it...but what can you do but love those here and now and never forget the ones that leave imprints on our souls.
Well, Haig, I didn't expect to get so emotional...forgive me. Just wanted to say hi, love you and the fam, and know that I'm thinking of ya!
Sook
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