Today I woke up, ate breakfast, and then sat down and stared into nothingness. I'm feeling shock again, similar to when I first heard the news from my dad. It's a numb feeling that's accompanied strangely by no specific thoughts. Like, I ache for Alice to be back in my life just as she was, and I see her vivacious smile in my mind, yet there are no other concrete thoughts about her in my head.
After 2 hours of being up, I took a nap for the rest of the day, until it was time to get ready to go to my cousin's place for dinner. It was nice of him to make chicken and rice and other fixings, because I'm not feeling like cooking. And I have always enjoyed cooking.
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To Haig:
While I didn’t know Alice, I know you, her brother. Like you, she was a wonderful, smart, kind and beautiful person. A painter. A creator. An artist. She was given one of the highest talents by the Universe and used it to soar others to a higher plane. A teacher. She gave her light so others would benefit in the world.
She was an Aries. Not only a pioneer but the first at everything. Fun loving. Sparkling. Beautiful. I can feel her spirit and an Aries connection to her.
Haig, you will mourn, remembering Alice and the joy that she brought into your life.
In the coming weeks and months, there will be little things bringing you peace. Think of all the joy she gave to you and your family. Think of all the beautiful work left behind for others to grow and awaken. Think of all people who she helped. The countless faces in a crowd who are better off because she came their way. Think of her relentless spirit to achieve and the role modeling shown to others. Her students.
While we may physically miss seeing our loved ones, we must think of them passing through life, leaving bouquets of beauty at others’ feet. And it seems Alice left so much.
Haig, she will always be with you. In the wind. A butterfly brushing against your cheek. A caterpillar. She will be in the whisper of the trees or the song of a child’s laughter. She will never leave you. Death can’t break the beautiful bond shared by the two of you. Death is not the end but another beginning.
My heart goes out to you. There will be sad days. There will be bearable ones. But rejoice that Alice came your way. She is smiling down on you and healing your pain.
Beatryce for the Job Club
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