Alice at my Door

 

Her hat looked kind of like this.

Oh the experience was so real, I could touch it.

I was sitting in my office where I spend most of every day lately: a cramped space with a small desk, my computer, and some books. I heard a car come up the driveway. I looked outside, and there she was. (I should've known it was a dream right then, because in actuality I can only see sky from my little window.)

"It's Alice!" I said out loud, and bolted down the stairs. 

I didn't care what I was wearing, what was on my face, how my hair was. I was so happy she'd come to visit our new house in Los Angeles. I got ready to give her a huge hug.

I pulled open the front door, and saw a young man, a young woman... she'd brought friends. 

And to the side, Alice, wearing a stylish red knit hat. But she was covering her face in the crook of her arm.

Something felt off. I wasn't sure why she was hiding. That's when I realized I was dreaming, and woke up.

I loved this one. A. Because it featured Alice. B. It was updated, she came to visit me necessarily in 2021. C. Like, her life was brought into the present. 

OK B. and C. are pretty much the same, but it bears repeating.

I can't publish this without sharing the analysis that keeps swirling in my brain:
I think there was something else going on. L has been spending time with my mom this summer, we call it "Camp Nanoug." Omg they've been painting the town every day, social distanced of course. Well, L is coming back home soon to start school again. 

To say, L will be showing up on the doorstep in the near future.

Now, I often conflate Alice and L. I'll say in my head "Alice's bedroom" in reference to L's. Each lair has been off-limits to me. When I think about L, sometimes I'll call her "Alice" in my head. 

L's a teenager, and Alice was a teenager at heart.

Speaking of hearts, I went about my morning with a full one.