San Diego

For the last ten years I've been looking for Alice, everywhere. From the corner of my eye I'll spot a figure that resembles her, and do a double-take on a woman with pixie hair and a lean frame. Perusing family photo albums, I'm always hoping I'll come across an image I haven't seen before. Sometimes I'll even hear her voice, but if I turn around there's no body.

When the pop punk band blink-182 came out with "California" in August (an album I love love love), I glanced the track list and wondered if I'd spotted her: in "San Diego." Listening to the album start to finish, I finally got to song 13. My ears pricked up. Omg it had Alice written all over it. Check out the chorus:
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I can't sleep because what if I dream
of going back to San Diego
We bought a one-way ticket
so we can go see the Cure
and listen to our favorite songs in the parking lot
and think of every person I ever lost
in San Diego
Can't go back to San Diego.
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"And think of every person I ever lost in San Diego. Can't go back to San Diego." So true for me. I only lost one person, but she was extra significant to me. Unfortunately I feel repelled by the city Alice moved to and in which she died. I still can't go back there. Other details fit too -- Alice and I went to see the female version of the Cure: Siouxsie and the Banshees. Not in SD but in Orange County. Same difference right? We totally listened to our favorite songs in the parking lot outside the Grove.

Those are the lyrics. Then there's the music. Travis Barker does amazing handiwork on drums, natch. But what sent chills up my spine while tears rolled down my cheeks was the harmonies. Starting near 2:18, the guys are singing background and I swear they're wailing. For my sister. The screen even floods with "A"s right then in the lyric video. Have a watch-listen:



Blink came to town this past weekend. I'd bought a single mosh pit ticket. But I was conflicted because that same afternoon we were throwing a big barbecue for L's 11th birthday. My mom would be traveling 3,000 miles to be there and Sophie'd be coming from far away too.

I'd been feverish the night before the party. The morning of, I doubted I could host a shindig then drive 70 miles to a concert and back. But everyone at home chipped in to make the celebration happen, and I rallied. Heading to the rock show I felt like the luckiest guy in the world: I had my extended family together, and they'd made it possible for me to go to the gig, and look for Alice.

Midway through the set, the guys played "San Diego!" When it came time for their howling, only Matt Skiba sang. Why didn't Mark Hoppus join in? But they sang my jam!

Which I played again back in the parking lot, by myself.