4th Birthday Celebration Without Her

In 2007, on Alice's birthday Peter and I flew a butterfly kite in Central Park. It was difficult because there weren't many open clearings in which to fly a kite, so we found a patch of tree-less dirt and competed for space with the light posts and school-age soccer players.  In 2008 we went to Riverbank State Park and were told there's no kite flying in State parks. The park ranger pointed to some grass in the distance and said the area is technically "city park," so L, Peter and I headed there and flew the butterfly kite and remembered Alice. In 2009, the 3 of us went to the new park--I still don't know its name--across from the Fairway parking lot and adjacent to Riverside Park. You can watch L fly the butterfly kite here.

And so, in 2010, we returned to the park by Fairway and re-enacted what has become a ritual, see video above. The butterfly flutters in the wind, which is soothing to watch. It was cold and damp again, yet at least there was wind to facilitate kite flight.

What was hard for me about Alice's absence on her 40th birthday was the reality that I'm getting older, too. Yes, we will not see Alice turn 40, 50 or 60 and beyond, and age is creeping up on me, in the meantime, as well. Alice's death reminds me that I need to look more closely at the meaning in my own life.