While I'm in between thoughts, I'll get a glimpse of Alice, and feel some of her energy toward me. I see her calling me on the telephone, I hear her voice in my ear, I feel her reaching toward me and I then question, still, was I a good brother back?
Recently I came upon some pictures that suggest, at least, "sometimes."
Alice had sent L a t-shirt in a gift box my mom had prepared for Valentine's Day 2006. I was angry with Alice at the time, about what I don't know right now, and first thought "big deal, a t-shirt." With some time to think, it settled in that she had sent the gift with total love, and that I did appreciate her devotion to L.
Letting my ill-feelings subside temporarily, a few weeks later I put the cute top on L, and established a "photo studio" as we had called it during our visit the previous December. With the intent of just letting Alice know what L looked like wearing it, and hence expressing some gratitude, I snapped the following:
Note that I took these pictures NOT with a digital camera, but with a traditional camera using film that would need to be processed. Considering this, that's a lot of photos I think. Which is worth something in evaluating my goodness as a brother, don't you think?
It's been six months now that I'm no longer able to demonstrate my appreciation for Alice and all that she gave. The longest six months of my life.
Looking at these snapshots, I feel a hint that I may also have given Alice what I could.
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