She never died. I believed it.

Photo by Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash

I had a dream last night where I was feeling friction between Alice and me, similar to how I can feel sometimes with my teenager. A kind of general ill will with uncertain origins.

I was going about my business (in a seaside town? But whatever) while Alice was visiting at home the whole day. I was following my impulse to avoid her when I realized, "Wait Alice is alive! Seize the rare opportunity and go home, spend time with her." I was euphoric, feeling what a precious gift this moment was. Alice had never died, she'd simply been away. I totally believed it.

I changed my plans and ran back to her, thinking how I'd hug her and not let go.

Thing is, basically all time with loved ones is a rare opportunity. It doesn't last forever.